You Are Beautiful, and I Love You
By Ruari

Disclaimer:  Star Trek: Voyager and associated characters belong to CBS/Paramount.  No infringement intended, no money being made. 

………………..


"You’re supposed to outlive me, you know," Kathryn whispered into the shell of her companion’s ear.

Said companion smiled.

And after forty-five years together, witnessing Seven of Nine smile still hadn’t lost its appeal.  "I mean it.  That’s the deal we struck."

Seven turned her head and lifted her brow, the optical implant rising as always.  "I remember no such deal."  Seven brought their joined hands up to rest upon her chest.  "How very like you to wish to alter the past to suit your needs," she softly teased.

"Yes, well," Kathryn sniffed indignantly.  "You just have to.  I’m not willing to be alone, so comply!"

Seven’s smile grew.  "I do not have any plans to go anywhere today."

"Good.  See that you don’t."

Seven smirked as she watched her wife tug her hand free, stand up from the floor of their living room, and cross to stoke the fire.  Her eyes twinkled in appreciation of the view.

When Kathryn turned around, she caught her wife staring.  "What are you looking at?" she groused, lifting a hand to her snow-white hair.

"You are beautiful, and I love you."

Kathryn snorted.  "Do you remember the first time you ever told me that?"

Both of Seven’s eyebrows rose at the question.  "Of course.  My implants may be failing, but my eidetic memory remains intact."

Kathryn just rolled her eyes and moved back to the sofa.  She gently lifted Seven’s head and shoulders just far enough to slide beneath.  She sighed and settled deep into the cushions, her wife’s head cradled in her lap as they both stared into the fire.


Branches whipped against her flesh, leaving bloody calling cards in their wake.  Arms, face, neck, all covered in dozens of tiny cuts as she raced through thick foliage.  Seven ignored them as she kept her gaze focused steadily on the red-clad figure in front of her.  All the while, her cortical node was processing data faster than thought.  All of it sorted, catalogued and categorized in her mind, organized by threat level.  Sights, scents, sound. 

It was the latter which caused alarms to sing in both heart and mind.  "Kathryn!"   Seven increased her speed when her shout was either unheard or ignored, marveling at the speed generated by her captain’s shorter legs.  Now desperate to catch up, Seven’s burst of speed put her on Janeway’s heels.  Her enhanced hearing again picked up the sounds of the wind whistling through the forest but with a noticeable and ominous pitch change.  "Kathryn, stop!!" 

Kathryn focused all of her energy on running as fast as she could, as though the very hounds of hell were nipping at her feet.  She thought she heard Seven calling out to her, but it wasn’t until she was plucked clean off the ground and swept up into a duranium-enhanced embrace that she realized she probably was.  Her eyes widened in astonishment when Seven dipped down and slid through the dirt, executing what would have been a near-perfect slide into second base were this a backyard baseball game rather than the life-and-death chase it truly was.

The slide was lengthy and tore the biosuit and flesh off Seven’s leg before her momentum slowed to a stop.  She cradled Kathryn to her gently heaving chest, adrenaline coursing through her veins.  "We are not being chased, Kathryn," she muttered.

Kathryn, having no Borg enhancements, gasped for oxygen.  "What?!"

Seven stood up and set the Captain on her feet.  "We are not being chased."  She gestured ahead, in the direction they had been running. 

Kathryn tried to peer through the shrouded atmosphere but could see nothing.  "Tell me, ‘cause I don’t see anything."

Seven instead walked forward carefully, Janeway close behind.  They’d only gone about five yards into the gloom when their situation became painfully clear to the Starfleet captain. 

"We are not being chased," Seven again muttered softly to her captain. "We are being herded."

And Kathryn’s heart flew into her throat as she gazed out over an open space larger than Earth’s Grand Canyon, the edge of which was no more than ten yards ahead, the drop-off---certain death.

Janeway gulped and inhaled deeply through her nose, still trying to catch her breath.  "I’m open to suggestions, Seven."  She placed a hand low on the former drone’s back.

Seven slowly and cautiously approached the cliff edge and looked over.  Her optical implant quickly analyzed the base of the canyon and the cliff face she could actually see.  Needing more data, Seven dropped down on her belly and hung her head over the side.

"Seven!"

The blonde ignored Kathryn and continued scanning the cliff face.  Her brows twitched as a plan began to take shape.  She scrabbled back from the edge and clamored to her feet. 

"Well?"

Seven nodded once to herself and turned to her captain.  "We go over."


Kathryn snorted at the memory.  "I can’t believe you just blithely stated ‘We go over,’ like that was the most obvious solution imaginable."

Seven linked her fingers with Kathryn’s and hummed.  "It was the most obvious solution."  At Kathryn’s answering grumble, she just raised their hands to her lips.



Kathryn planted her hands on her hips and shot her Astrometrics officer an incredulous glare.  "I’d ask if you were insane, but I know better."

"Your options are limited, Kathryn.  Go back the way we came and face them.  Run parallel to the canyon while they get closer, or go over the cliff.  Of the three choices, the only one our pursuers would believe we would not voluntarily choose is the third."

Janeway grimaced, shuffled hesitantly closer to the edge, and peered down.  She sighed and shot her companion an affectionate glance.  "I suppose you have a plan?"

Seven raised both eyebrows.  "Of course."


"You always were getting me into difficult situations."

That statement brought Seven’s head off of Kathryn’s lap as she swiveled toward her wife. "I beg your pardon?" she questioned, her tone fairly dripping with disbelief.

Unable to maintain a straight face, Kathryn started laughing.  "Ok, even I couldn’t pass that one off.  Oh, God, I wish you could’ve seen the look on your face just now!" she chortled.

"Yes, well," Seven huffed as she snuggled back down into her blankets, head once again resting in Kathryn’s lap.  "It could not have been nearly as entertaining as the one on your face once you heard my plan."



"You have got to be kidding me."

"I assure you, I am not."

"Seven, it must be a kilometer to the bottom!"

"1.46 kilometers to be exact."

"---"

"Kathryn, we have no time to delay."

And Kathryn realized they really didn’t, so she merely nodded and followed her ex-Borg crewmember/girlfriend to the location she’d selected as the best starting point for their descent.  "I’ll have you know," she grumbled, "that there is no way I’d attempt this without climbing or rappelling gear with anyone other than you."

Seven reached over and grabbed Kathryn’s hand.  "I am aware of this, and I highly value your trust."  She met the redhead’s stormy gaze.  "I will not allow you to fall."

Janeway shook their clasped hands back and forth.  "I know you won’t, darling."

Seven just nodded and led her to sit on the edge.  Minutes later, Seven dropped over the side.



"You know you scared the crap out of me when you did that, right?" Kathryn murmured, her memories not as sharp as Seven’s, of course, but parts of them were glaringly vivid.

Seven nuzzled deeper into her wife’s body, her face now turned against Kathryn’s belly.  "Hmmm, to which action are you referring…specifically?" she mumbled, fatigue clearly evident in her voice.

Kathryn looked down and smiled.  She ran her free hand through Seven’s hair, still long, wavy, and decidedly blonde.  "Never mind, darling.  Why don’t you just rest your eyes now, hmmm?" she rasped quietly, tears pricking her eyes.  "You know how much I love watching you sleep."



Kathryn winced as the rock bit into the flesh of her palm again.  "Darling," she called out.  "I may need a break soon.  Is there any chance of that happening?"  She absolutely hated to ask for that, but neither was she stupid.  After three hours, it was better to break now than to be careless later.  All the break would cost them was time. The price of potential carelessness was unthinkable.

Seven shot a quick glance up at Kathryn to make sure she was not in immediate danger.  Once reassured Kathryn was not in peril she scouted the cliff face and calculated the remaining distance to her predetermined stopping point, one she’d spotted before they’d ever gone over the edge.  "Can you make it another 350 meters?  There is a shelf-like formation in the rock, and I would be better able to secure your safety."

Kathryn smiled internally, knowing without doubt that every decision Seven had made in the last forty-eight hours had been with her, Kathryn’s, comfort or protection in mind.  "Yes, sweetheart.  That’s fine."  For the next hour and a half she continued following Seven’s precise instructions on where exactly to place her feet and hands, her mind having little to no time to wander.  Though the distance was not necessarily that far, she had to follow Seven’s direction to the centimeter, lest she risk slipping.  This made the grueling task that much more precarious and, therefore, slow-going.

She was most certainly grateful when Seven plucked her right off the cliff face and her feet finally touched a horizontal surface.  She turned in the younger woman’s loose embrace and leaned up to latch onto full lips in a simple, loving kiss.  "Thank you," she murmured, lips continuing to brush Seven’s as she spoke.

"Welcome," Seven whispered back.

Kathryn stepped back and turned to find an actual cave.  Surprised, she looked over her shoulder at her companion.  "No one is this lucky."

Seven’s lips twitched in amusement as she peered into the shallow opening.  "You seem to have more than your fair share."

Kathryn snorted.  "Yeah, yeah, yeah."  She waved off the teasing and ducked to enter the small recess in the rock, frowning when she couldn’t stand upright.  "Not the Hilton, but I’ll take it."

Seven frowned at the reference, but like many of Kathryn’s comments, she filed it away for later research.  "You should attempt to rest.  We are not quite halfway down."

The petite starship captain groaned and ran her fingers through her hair.  "Don’t remind me."  She collapsed against the cave wall and slid down until she was reclining against it.  Then she turned to inspect her companion, and her gaze landed on Seven’s Borg-enhanced left hand.  Kathryn gasped and reached out to grab hold of Seven’s wrist.  "Get down here, darling.  Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt?"

Seven had to duck quite a bit further but managed to crawl in next to Kathryn with little trouble.  She watched the redhead scrutinize the damage to her hand.  "It will only take my nanoprobes a couple of hours to heal the wounds.  It is ‘alright,’ Kathryn."

"No, it’s not," Kathryn muttered belligerently.  "I’m sure it hurts like hell, but there’s nothing I can do about it."  She sighed and peered up at the former drone.  "How did this happen?"  She held her own hands out next to Seven’s injured one.  "I only have shallow cuts from the rock, not this…this deeply torn flesh."

Seven shot a fond, yet exasperated, look toward her girlfriend, recognizing that in this moment, Kathryn was indeed her girlfriend more than she was her captain.  "How do you suppose all of those convenient foot and handholds appeared in the rock?"

Kathryn frowned in deep consternation.  "Well, I knew you were making them, of course, but I had no idea you were damaging yourself to do so!" 

Seven cupped Kathryn’s face in her free hand.  "The cause was sufficient," she murmured softly. 

Her tone was such that it was made painfully evident to Kathryn that Seven was referring to her safety, yet again.  "I’m not sure I like you hurting yourself for my benefit," her voice husky and low. 

Seven just stared at the older woman with tender affection.

Embarrassed, Kathryn ducked her head, nervously tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.  "Don’t look at me like that.  I’m a mess."

Seven just shook her head.  "You are beautiful, and I love you."


Kathryn quickly swiped the tears from her face before they could dry.  She certainly didn’t want Seven to later notice she’d been crying.  She absolutely cherished that memory---the first time Seven had ever told her she loved her.  She looked down at her wife, sleeping with her head in Kathryn’s lap. 

Sleeping.

Kathryn could easily remember a time when Seven of Nine would go days without sleep.  A time when she couldn’t sleep more than two hours at a time.  Those times were easy to recall.  After all, they weren’t that long ago.  Now, however…

Now she was asleep more often than awake.  And as much as Kathryn adored watching her beloved in slumber…now it just broke her heart.

The once mighty starship Captain, now retired Starfleet Admiral gently eased herself out from under her wife, slipping a pillow beneath the beautiful blonde head.  At Seven’s murmur of discontent, Kathryn leaned down and lightly kissed an implanted brow.  "Shhh, darling.  Go back to sleep."

Minutes later, Kathryn activated her personal communication station in the study.  She smiled when the face of one of her very best friends appeared on the screen.  "Hello, my friend."

"Kathryn!  To what do I owe this pleasure?"  The smiling face of Voyager’s former doctor, the EMH, beamed back at her.

Kathryn’s smile faltered slightly.  "Do you suppose you could make time to visit some of your oldest and dearest friends?"

Decades of friendship enabled the Doctor to read the sadness lurking in her stormy blue-gray eyes, and his holographic heart sank.  "Well…I don’t currently have any plans for Christmas."

Kathryn reached out to touch the screen.  "Thank you."

He just rolled his eyes and muttered, "And you’ll let me be the bad guy, I suppose?  Inviting myself for a visit, no doubt?"

Kathryn’s eyes finally lit up.  "Of course.  Rank hath its privileges, after all."

"Well, in case you’ve forgotten, Kathryn, neither of us has a rank anymore."

"And life is just full of pesky little details just like that one, Doctor," she teased.

"Oh, naturally," he huffed.  "I will see you in the morning."

Kathryn nodded and blew him a kiss.  "Thank you again."

The Doctor’s features softened.  "Of course.  A visit with two of my favorite people in the universe?  Hardly a hardship.  See you tomorrow."

Kathryn nodded again and ended the transmission.

………………..

"Seven of Nine?  Will you wake up for me, please?"  Kathryn learned a long time ago that Seven required a delicate touch if you were attempting to wake her from a sound sleep.  And these days, Kathryn did everything in her power to make life easier for her wife.  She watched blonde eyelashes flutter and eagerly awaited a glimpse of those crystalline blue eyes.

"Kathryn?" a disoriented Seven whispered.

"Yes, sweetheart.  Will you have dinner with me?  I prepared that soup of Phoebe’s.  You know…that one you like?"

Seven smiled and exhaled sharply, which would have been a laugh on anyone else.  "You mean you managed to successfully program the replicator?"

"Well, yes.  That’s exactly what I meant, you big spoilsport."  Kathryn stood and held out her hand.  "Let’s go."

Seven grasped the proffered hand and rose to follow.  "Yes, let us go partake of the meal you slaved over."

They had been quietly eating for ten minutes when Kathryn casually prompted, "Guess who invited himself to spend the next couple of days with us?"

Seven skeptically lifted her brow.  "Do tell."

"It so happens that the Doctor had no plans for the Christmas holiday and was going to spend it all alone.  Then he sort of…just…you know…invited himself over.  You know how he does, darling.  And I couldn’t allow him to be alone."

"Yes, how convenient."  Seven rolled her eyes.  "I am sure you had no part in that at all."

Kathryn’s shoulders slumped in defeat.  She gave her wife a pitiful look and muttered, "Can we at least pretend that’s what happened?"

Seven’s lips twitched.  "Certainly.  I am, after all, well known for my play-acting."

Kathryn snorted and started choking on the soup she just inhaled.  She coughed and sputtered for several seconds before getting herself under control.

Seven just smiled, stood, and gathered her dishes to recycle in the replicator.  On her way by, she dipped down to press a scorching kiss upon her guilty wife.  "You are forgiven…


…again."

……………………

The following morning, Christmas Eve, Seven rose to greet her long-time friend as Kathryn escorted him into the living room.  Her eyes twinkled as she embraced him and kissed his cheek.

The astute Doctor caught the look and chuckled.  "Ah, couldn’t fool you, could she?"

"Have I ever?" Kathryn grumbled good-naturedly. 

Seven smirked and retook her seat, opting to conserve her energy whenever possible.  She held out a hand and beckoned Kathryn to her side.  Once they were settled, she addressed their visitor.  "Regardless of the subterfuge my wife found necessary to engage in, it is good to see you."

"And as always, you know how much I enjoy visiting the two of you," the Doctor fairly beamed at the duo sitting on the couch.

Seven smiled back at him then at Kathryn.  She squeezed the hand she held and looked back to address the hologram.  "Since you are here, you may as well complete your exam.  There is no point in attempting to sneak one later during one of my naps."  She continued to smile as Kathryn grumbled and the Doctor rolled his eyes while reaching into his bag for his medical tricorder. 

Ten minutes later, one of Starfleet’s foremost experts in Borg physiology sat on the coffee table in front of his patient and her wife.  He looked somberly into Seven’s eyes and sighed.  "Why didn’t you say anything sooner?"

At Kathryn’s gasp, Seven lifted their clasped hands to her lips and pressed a series of kisses to the back of Kathryn’s.  Several moments passed before she addressed the Doctor.  "Evidently, I unknowingly struck a deal with my wife."  Seven looked back at Kathryn, whose eyes were welling with tears, and just stared at her for the longest time.  "And I did not know how to tell her I was going to break it," she finally whispered.

Kathryn choked on a sob and pulled Seven into a hug.  The Doctor stood up and left the room, exiting onto the deck off the kitchen to give the ladies some much required privacy.  His heart, certainly long-since over his crush on the former Borg drone, was still devastated by her imminent death.   And he ached equally as much for the loss his good friend Kathryn was about to endure.

………………………

One week later found Kathryn and Seven getting ready for bed after a long day spent with Kathryn’s sister, Phoebe, and her family.  Both were mentally and physically exhausted.  They climbed into bed and faced each other across the same pillow, as they were wont to do; Kathryn sliding an arm under Seven’s neck and pulling so they were snuggled together.

Seven blinked sleepy eyes at her wife and smiled tiredly.  "Tell me a story, Kathryn."  It was a rare request, but Kathryn always relished when Seven made it.  She gave no thought to the supposition that, perhaps, Seven made the request on this night for that very reason.

And so Kathryn did.  She rambled on quietly while Seven did her best to listen.  Over an hour later, at the dawn of the New Year, Seven weakly mumbled, "Kathryn?"

Kathryn stopped in mid-sentence and looked closely at her wife.  Took in her pale features and shallow breaths.  "Yes, darling?" she asked hesitantly.  Her entire body began to shake and a tight ball of misery formed in her gut.

Seven mustered the strength to crack open her eyes.  Her smile was tender and full of love as she spoke, her tone stilted and labored.  "You are…beau..tiful…and I…love you."

"Oh, no.  No no no, sweetheart." Kathryn pressed her lips to Seven’s forehead.  "I’m not ready, Seven.  I’m simply not," she rasped, abject fatigue hitting her person all of a sudden.  "You are my heart, Seven of Nine."  Her murmur cutting across the quiet.  "I’ve forgotten how to do this without you.  I just don’t know how anymore."  She shifted to cup Seven’s face in her hands, as silent tears streamed down her face.  "Seven, don’t you dare start another adventure without me.  Comply, dammit!"  She then buried her face in her wife’s neck.

Seven managed to nuzzle her lips down to Kathryn’s ear only to say in a near-soundless whisper, "I…will…com…p…" as her voice trailed away.

Kathryn’s body shook with silent sobs as she gripped her wife of forty years in the tightest of embraces.  And she cried and cried until she just…went to sleep.

………………….

The Doctor took his place at the podium and cleared his throat.  "I realize I am well known for being long-winded, but I assure you that will not be the case today."  He looked out over the large crowd gathered in Starfleet’s Memorial Gardens.  He had been given, per Kathryn Janeway’s and Seven of Nine’s request, the honor of speaking on their behalf for a final time.

"There is nothing I could say about either of these women that you are not already aware of yourself.  Suffice to say…they were remarkable, and history will record them as such.  Even more remarkable was their commitment to each other."  He sighed deeply.  "So deep was their commitment to each other that Kathryn was simply unable to continue without her wife.  Most of you are aware that I performed the exams on both women following their deaths.  What many of you are not aware of is how I certified those deaths."

The Doctor took a deep breath and looked away, off toward the gardens.  "Officially, Seven of Nine died of a cascade failure of her Borg cybernetic systems.  Her cardiac implant just…stopped working.  Kathryn Janeway followed her in death less than two hours later.  Upon autopsy, I found her to be in perfect health.  So the only conclusion I could draw was that when her cardiac muscle stopped, it was simply because her heart…was broken."

The former EMH of the starship Voyager stepped down from the podium, pulling the covering off two memorial plaques in the process.  Resting one beneath the other, the plaques forever linked the two women in death, as they had been in life.

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